funny or not?

September 10, 2009 - 9:39 pm 26 Comments

A blonde’s year in review
January – Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February – Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…..Helllloooo!!!…..bottles won’t fit in printer !!!
March – Got really excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…..box said "2-4 years!"
April – Trapped on escalator for hours ….. power went out!!!
May – Tried to make Kool-Aid…..wrong instructions….8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June – Tried to go water skiing…..couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July – Lost breast stroke swimming competition…..learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!So I complained to the judge – he stroked my breasts to say sorry for them all, so that’s okay!
August – Got locked out of my car in rain storm…..car swamped because soft-top was open.
September – The capital of Cholchester is "C"…..isn’t it???
October – Hate Smarties’s…..they are so hard to peel.
November – Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days … instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December – Dieted to get into dress – lost 4 stone! Said eat three calorie-controlled meals in 1 day, then skip for two days, then repeat, for a maximum of 21 days. Couldn’t get up on the 24th of December – legs killing me after all that skipping – "duh"….. what a stupid diet!!! I missed the party and stayed in bed!
What a year!!

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts!

it is hard out here to get people to laugh but when your fans get round to reading them they will be cracking up with laughter love it myself lol 10/10

26 Responses to “funny or not?”

  1. live4hoping Says:

    many…………………it is too long
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  2. Kacky Says:

    NOT
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  3. tori.bird Says:

    Personally, I find it funny. …then again, I’m a brunette.
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  4. Susan Says:

    some of it was funny…some really stupid
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  5. ☼♀♥♠♣J.W. ♫♪♦♥ Says:

    I liked most of them. I didnt like January and October, but the rest were hilarious!!
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  6. San Diego Art Nut Says:

    Mostly funny.
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  7. angelgirl9284 Says:

    aaaaahahahaha

    thats so funny!!!!
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  8. sunflower Says:

    god damn………what a year:)
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  9. dapperdoll Says:

    It’s funny to me….good ole British humor! Some of your wording gave it away…we lose pounds not stones! A soft top I suppose is what we call a convertible? I know you call car hoods bonnets! Are you blonde?? LOL!
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  10. Capri Says:

    Good one i really liked
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  11. kilzer52 Says:

    Okay so a guy is
    nearing the
    end of his
    senior
    year in high school.
    Unfortunately,
    he still has to share a room with his
    younger
    brother who is only 9
    years
    old.

    One night, he decides to bring his
    girlfriend home
    for a little fun.
    They
    have bunk beds and the guy notices that
    his little
    brother is already
    asleep
    on the lower bunk, so he and his
    girlfriend climb
    up
    to the top bunk.
    As you
    might expect things start to heat up.

    The guy remembers that his little brother
    is
    sleeping below so he tells
    his
    girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants
    it
    harder and "tomato" if
    she
    wants a new position.

    Lettuce!!!

    Tomato!!!

    Lettuce!!!

    Tomato!!!

    Lettuce!!!

    Tomato!!!

    She screams.

    Lettuce!!!

    Tomato!!!

    Whoa!!!

    PULL IT OUT!!!

    PULL IT OUT NOW!!!

    I can’t get pregnant!

    Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey,
    would you
    guys stop making
    sandwiches up there! You’re getting
    mayonnaise
    all over my
    face!*!*!*!*!
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  12. riettebotha2 Says:

    Too long
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  13. Mark G Says:

    A big 10/10 :)
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  14. Heather H Says:

    funny…except for blonde’s! They probably won’t get it anyway!
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  15. ixlinhr Says:

    What if GOD is blonde??? Think about it Honey.
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  16. mj_jord10 Says:

    not
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  17. sha_man029 Says:

    funny but too long
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  18. delta Says:

    Hilarious!!!!!!!!
    Thatks for making me smile this early
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  19. punk'n'pretty Says:

    some are funny yet some are super lame!
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  20. venus quality Says:

    This was funny the first time it did the email rounds – now it belongs in the virtual museum of antique office jokes
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  21. lushbabe4u Says:

    LOL! (–,)
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  22. dream theatre Says:

    no
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  23. chris/cuddles Says:

    it is hard out here to get people to laugh but when your fans get round to reading them they will be cracking up with laughter love it myself lol 10/10
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  24. newciderman Says:

    Loved every one of em, its a tough old year. well done. 10/10
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  25. CLARABELLE Says:

    thanks for the laugh
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  26. Tink Says:

    Now that`s faf!!

    Love your jokes

    12/10 have a *

    Tink xx
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